Danielle and I were roommates for the first year of my Grad School days at Ball State - chirp chirp! Her story shows true dedication and the struggles of trying to start a family when you and your spouse have different schedules or one is traveling. Please enjoy her story below:
Tyler and I met in college while we were both working at the rec center at Ball State University. He was a graduate assistant for intramural and special events and I was the head lifeguard in the aquatics department. We got married in July of 2011. We both knew we wanted kids, but not immediately. We were both focused on our careers. Tyler was working at Purdue full time and referring full time on the side. I was commuting to Indianapolis daily from Lafayette and focusing on studying for my board exam. I had been on birth control before, but wasn’t at this time. We were just super careful. We officially stopped being careful in November 2012. When I went in for my annual exam in November 2013, I explained that we had been trying for a year and nothing had happened. I was seeing an OBGYN in Lafayette for the first time and ironically, she had gone through infertility as well. She told me that if nothing happened by the New Year, to call the office and she would start me on Clomid. We did four rounds of Clomid in 2014 before the doctor ordered a semen analysis for my husband and an HSG for me. An HSG is a procedure that uses an X-Ray to look at your Fallopian tubes and uterus. It is primarily used to see if your Fallopian tubes are open or if they are blocked. We did the semen analysis first. The results really didn’t tell us much so we scheduled the HSG. I decided to go to the HSG alone and without any type of pain meds. Out of all the infertility treatments I have gone through, this one was by far the worst. My results showed that my Fallopian tubes were open, however, there might be something at the top of my uterus. My doctor ordered an ultrasound to rule out anything else. That ultrasound came back normal. Back to Clomid. We were told that we would have a higher chance of getting pregnant after an HSG, so off to trying again. After 2 more rounds of Clomid my OBGYN referred me to a fertility specialist.
I was surprised at how fast the fertility doctor was able to get me in. He also had a satellite location in Lafayette which was also very helpful. After meeting with him, he gave me two options. Option 1 - use injectable meds and do intrauterine insemination (IUI) or Option 2 - get a laparoscopy done to see if there were any other internal factors. When I called to let them know that we had chosen to do IUI, he told me that he reviewed the scans of my HSG and he wanted to do further testing on that. So he scheduled a saline ultrasound (SIS) to be done at the beginning of my next cycle. The saline ultrasound showed what looked like a large polyp at the top of my uterus. He said it needed to come out ASAP. Surgery was scheduled for a few weeks later. The doctor still thought that our best option was to continue with the plan to do IUI following the surgery. I had surgery to remove the polyp in January 2015 and we did our first (and only) IUI in March 2015. Our IUI failed. I got my period before I could even go take the blood test (and the office STILL made me go take the blood test even though my period had started). The doctor said that everything went perfectly and that it should have worked, so he did not recommend trying another IUI. His next recommendation was IVF. We decided to take some time off. We put our house on the market on a whim and sold our first house in Lafayette a few weeks later. We bought a new house and Tyler quit his job at Purdue to focus more on reffing.
Tyler started a new job in October 2015 and that came with new insurance coverage. When I was reading through the fine print, I noticed that his policy was based out of New Jersey. Knowing what I knew about infertility coverage (because hello Google for the past 2 years), I knew that New Jersey was a state that mandated infertility coverage. When we looked into it, sure enough, IVF was covered in our policy. I was allowed up to 4 cycles before I was 40. We immediately scheduled an appointment with our doctor to set up a timeline for IVF. Because Tyler has a very demanding travel schedule, I thought that we would have to wait until the summer to start our cycle. Our doctor was very excited and told me that we could put some sperm on ice and start immediately. A few weeks later, I got my IVF calendar in my email and my meds were ordered. We were set to start meds the day after Christmas.
Overall, the entire calendar was pretty easy to follow. It was hard with Tyler’s travel schedule and him not being home to help me administer meds. Fortunately, (but unfortunately) our friends were in the process of moving to Missouri from Lafayette and hadn’t bought a house in Missouri yet, so they were living with us. My friend Nicole picked up the role of shot administrator and did an awesome job with it. Throughout the process, the only thing that stressed me out was waiting for that phone call after my ultrasounds/blood work to tell me how I would adjust my meds based off of my estrogen levels and follicle sizes for the next few nights (until my next blood draw and ultrasound). Most of the time, this also required me getting on the phone and having meds overnighted to me.
On retrieval day, we were able to get 12 eggs. I honestly don’t remember how many fertilized or how many progressed on from there. Recovery from the retrieval was brutal for me. I got severely constipated and had a really difficult time walking upright for a few weeks. We chose to do a fresh transfer (5 days after the retrieval) versus PGS. When my doctor and I first sat down to talk about my cycle, he recommended PGS, but solely because we had insurance coverage. After sending in a preauthorization, insurance denied the PGS and we decided against the 3k out of pocket for it. We took our doctor’s recommendation and transferred in the 2 best embryos. After that, we had 2 left over that we put in the freezer.
After the 2 week wait, I got the phone call at work that I was pregnant. We were so excited! Unfortunately (again) due to Tyler’s work schedule, I had to go to our first ultrasound by myself. At the first ultrasound (which is usually around 6-7 weeks), the doctor couldn’t find anything. Here I was, worried whether there would be one or two, and there wasn’t even one. My doctor decided to do another ultrasound 2 days later and check my HCG levels again. That evening, his wonderful nurse waited at his clinic until 8:30 pm to get the results from my blood draw. She called that evening to let me know that the levels still looked good. 2 days later, I went in again (alone). Our baby was there, but he was small, and not as big as they wanted him to be at that time. I remember becoming obsessed with the numbers. Google was my best friend (and worse enemy!) We scheduled another ultrasound for a week later. At ultrasound number 3, baby was still not measuring where they wanted him to be. I was told at this appointment that it was likely that I would miscarry, and that it was just a matter of time (he said it could take up to 20 weeks). He scheduled another ultrasound for 2 weeks later. At ultrasound number 4 (I was 10 weeks pregnant by then) I sat in the exam room (alone again). When the doctor came in, I remember rolling my eyes at him as he walked in. He patted my leg and said let’s just get this over with. I refused to look at the screen. He told me I needed to look, because everything looked great!!!! He decided to send me to a specialist just to make sure everything was okay (which it was). 29 weeks later, our beautiful little boy Brecken Lee Ford entered our world. Right now he is 2 and a half and we think he is absolutely perfect!
I won’t bore you with the details of IVF round number 2. We transferred our 2 frozen embryos last May and neither of them took. We decided to do another round of IVF. Besides all of the headaches insurance gave us this time around, the cycle went smoothly. We were able to get 10 eggs, we implanted 2, and got a positive pregnancy test. Baby girl Ford is due in early May. We are over the moon and can’t wait for her to make our family complete!
All in all, when it was all said and done, I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” - which is so frustrating to have someone tell you that you have can’t get pregnant on your own, but nobody can quite tell you why. Infertility is an extremely hard thing to go through. It definitely takes a toll on your emotions - and it definitely did with mine. Infertility consumed my life!!! When we started trying, all of my friends were trying too. It was hard to see them all be successful and not us. I wasn’t super open about my infertility, but I wasn’t closed off about it. My closer friends knew what we was going through and they were very supportive of us. I appreciated that they always let me talk about it (which I do think made me feel better). If people asked about it, I was pretty open about it (which was the exact opposite of Tyler). He’s learned through the process just how common infertility is. While going through the process, if someone told me something might help, I’d try it. I saw a chiropractor who specialized in muscle testing who tested me for vitamin deficiencies and put me on different types of vitamins (that were super expensive!). I went gluten free for 3 months. I jumped on the essential oil train. I lived on google and constantly was looking for answers. While it completely sucks, I’m grateful for my infertility. It’s the path that I was put on and put some pretty amazing people in my life!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Danielle! Congratulations on baby #2 coming next month!
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