2022 Recap

Picking up from our updates from 2021, here is what we did in 2022.

January 2022: Mediterranean Diet and Cancun #1

• We are off to Cancun for a family wedding so we decided to wait a month before doing our transfer. But, Cheyenne stepped up big and did tons of research on diets and what are the best foods to eat during IVF.

• He found the Mediterranean Diet was recommended and put together a whole meal plan for me. It was wonderful!

February 2022: Retrieval #4

• Instead of jumping into another transfer and fluctuating the medications that my body was on, we decided to do another retrieval to see if we could get any more embryos. That way we would just do back-to-back transfers instead of having to stop and do another retrieval.

• Once again, we were only able to get one genetic embryo, but this time, a boy! Now we had one boy and one girl remaining.

March 2022: Transfer #7 and Cancun #2 and Hysterocopy

• We elected to transfer the boy embryo first as we really wanted one boy and one girl. We were planning a trip to Cancun for our friend's wedding and knew with the timing that the transfer would be right around travel time. We asked the doctors to alter my medication so the transfer would be AFTER we got back, but the doctor messed up the timing and we ended up having the transfer 2 days BEFORE we left. I guess we got to have a few days of relaxing and celebrating our friends to help take our minds off the two-week wait.

• But, once again, no luck :(

• One final test... let's go in and do a hysteroscopy. This is where they look at the inside of my uterus for any polyps or cysts that could be causing the embryo to not stick. Once again praying for some type of bad news... but nothing. Everything looked great... :(

May 2022: Transfer #8

• Our final transfer. This time we did a modified cycle where the amount of medication I was on was very limited. We went around my body's normal ovulation time for the transfer in hopes that my body would produce what we needed... The transfer went great, with no complications, and the long two-week wait...

• But once again, we were crushed that it was negative. Now what...

June 2022: New doctor

• This time we made sure all their appointments and procedures would be in Louisville.

• He recommended Cheyenne see an Urologist as well as me to perform another SIS for a baseline (on top of like 20 vials of blood...)

July - August 2022: Break time

• With weddings and other plans, we decided to pause any treatments this month and give ourselves time to grieve and cope with what we have dealt with over the last few years.

• Cheyenne had two bodybuilding competitions and we were traveling to Colorado and New York during this time so a break would be nice.

• We randomly decided to look at houses on one trip to Michigan in July and fell in love with one. So we decided to up and move to Michigan - we close in September!

• We also made....

A Final but Hard Decision

• But with the move, it would have been so complicated to try and fit in doctor's appointments around the move, living at my parents for a short period of time, and then unpacking and getting settled in our new home. So, before we moved, we made the final decision that Michigan was going to be our fresh start. We were going to stop any treatments, and just enjoy our new home as a family of 3.

• This was EXTREMELY hard for me to grasp at first, I felt like we were giving up. But each transfer result became harder and harder, our attention had been on that only for years, and my body and spirit were crushed beyond measure at this point.

• I knew it would be a good decision for us in the long run but it took some time to process.

• The process of putting on a garage sale to sell all of Sophia's old clothes, baby toys, and equipment was really hard. But it was good to see them go to some well-deserving families. Everyone was SHOCKED that it was only for one kid!

September 2022: Moving?! What?!

• I can't believe it actually happened. We moved to Michigan!

• Time to live at my parent's house for a while until our new home is ready for us!

October 2022: Keys and a Shock!

• We got the keys to our new home on Oct. 2 ... also the day my period was supposed to arrive!

• But... it didn't.

• I am thinking it was the stress of the move, because SHEESH it was stressful, so I didn't think anything of it.

• A few days later, I told Cheyenne... he wasn't worried "you have been late before"... but really I haven't.

• One week later, I decided to take a test. BOOM that bad boy was UBER Positive!

• Holy Crap... did we get pregnant naturally after all of those years?!?

• I had a bit of spotting before my first checkup and my doctor asked for me to come in early to be safe. Everything looked good and sure enough! There was a little peanut in there!

• 7 Weeks: Cheyenne and Sophia were able to come with me for this appointment and we got to see a little heartbeat! "The chance of a miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat is about 5%". Crazy how much changed in 2 weeks.

November 2022: Update

• 8.5 Weeks: I had a bit of spotting again and from the doctor's advice, call and get in that day if I had any more bleeding.

• The doctor did another ultrasound, but the amount of time that she was taking was alarming... I knew something happened.

• There was no heartbeat anymore. 💔🥺

• I was BROKEN. Something that we had moved past when we moved to Michigan was something our hearts were set on. We were so excited and looking forward to adding another lil Ray to the family. And just like that, it was ripped away again.

• I went home to Cheyenne and we cried together. 😩😭

• The doctor scheduled me for a second opinion ultrasound at the hospital to confirm what she thought and they did. We had lost our lil baby.

• She gave us our options on how we wanted to proceed: 1 - medicine to help induce a miscarriage, 2 - wait it out at home and let it happen naturally, or 3- have a D&C where they surgically go in and remove the fetus and contents. With the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I didn't want it to happen while we were hosting, so we elected to go with the D&C to get it over with.

• The few days between the news and the surgery gave me time to grieve, cry, be mad, cope, all the above.

• The following Monday (3 days later), I went in and had the D&C.

• They were able to do some genetic testing on the fetus to see if there were any abnormalities with it and determine a cause for the miscarriage.

• Two weeks later I went back for my follow-up appointment and to review the results of the test. There was a genetic abnormality and the chances of it surviving the entire pregnancy or post-birth were very slim. This helped ease my mind and heart knowing it wasn't me or my body that cause it, but the baby's way of saying, let me help reduce the heartache later by letting you know now.

Post-Miscarriage and Where do we go from Here:

The postpartum that I experienced after the miscarriage was beyond anything I could think of. I didn't experience any with Sophia but the quick rise and fall of hormones and heartbreak from the loss was devastating. It took me quite a bit of time to really feel like myself again.

The doctor asked us what we wanted to do for birth control, and after talking with Cheyenne we decided that we would leave it up to chance. It took us 5.5 years to get pregnant naturally and if that is the path the world wants us to go, then if it happens it happens, if not, we are back to "Just the three of us".

We canceled Cheyenne's medical plan that had the IVF coverage starting in 2023, and of course!! after we decide we are done, my work starts to cover IVF starting this year. So, if we decide we want to try again, thankfully we have the coverage, but for now, we are loving our new home, learning how to deal with a crazy toddler, and enjoying life.

Embryo #1, aka Sophia, just turned 3! She is growing like a weed, full of energy, attitude, creativity, and sass. It warmed my heart the other day when she looked up to me and said "Mom, you're my best friend ever." #Momgoals (we will see how long that lasts when she gets older). Time to soak in the new things she learns, love she gives, and the patience that we search for haha :)