Spotlight - Brittany H.

Our next spotlight comes from Brittany H. Brittany and I both went to school together up til High School. Once I learned that Brittany and her husband were going through the same thing we were, I instantly reached out and offered support. It's amazing to me the things that bring people back together. Please enjoy reading their story and wish them the best of luck in their path to parenthood!

Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m 31 years old and live in Metro Detroit. My husband, Mike, and I have been together for almost 7 years and married for almost 4. We met through a mutual friend almost 12 years ago. We “re-met’ again through the same friend years later and things progressed quickly between us. We joke that Mike came over one day and never left. We were engaged within the year of us dating but had a long engagement due to us wanting a destination wedding in Outer Banks, NC which turned out beautifully. We have two “furchildren,” Cash the Boxer and Oscar the Boxer-Beagle whom we adore. 

How long have you been TTC?

Mike and I knew we wanted to start a family right away. I figured we’d be done having kids by the time I was 32. I got off birth control a couple of months before our wedding in summer of 2015. We weren’t exactly “trying” but we weren’t not trying. A few months passed and we were now into 2016 with no such luck. Doctors typically say try six months to a year before you see a doctor. I had my yearly checkup with my primary doctor and had mentioned our plan to have kids. Having already been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) at age 19, I knew we likely we’re going to need some medication intervention eventually. My doctor prescribed me metformin and said “come back when you’re pregnant.” Well the metformin had some awful side effects; basically unbearable. I tried it for a few months but still no luck. I decided then that I needed to see an OBGYN who specialized in PCOS to look into other options. My OBGYN ran a bunch of tests to confirm the previous PCOS diagnosis. One of these tests included an HSG where they run dye through your Fallopian tubes to determine if there’s a blockage. Not going to lie, that test was extremely painful. I have a high tolerance for pain but my gosh, that was bad.  My test showed my right tube had a block. I opted to have surgery to clear the blockage. Welp, when I woke up from the surgery my Dr informed me that my tube was not in fact blocked and everything looked good. She concluded that during my HSG, my right tube must’ve spasmed making it appear at blocked. I took a few months off after the surgery to heal. My Dr. then prescribed me Femara to help with ovulation. We did 3 months of Femara but I was not reacting to the medication like she expected. At that point my Dr referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  I first met with my RE in June of 2018. Our first plan was to do IUI’s with clomid. I did respond to Clomid and each IUI was the ideal setting but after 3 IUI’s we still didn’t have any success. We decided to move to IVF in Nov 2018. In total it’s been about 3.5 years of TTC.

Tell us about your Fertility Journey.

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 19. I never had regular cycles; maybe twice a year at most. I didn’t have all of the symptoms of PCOS but with the irregular cycles and ultrasound showing multiple small cysts on my ovaries my Dr. concluded I had PCOS. PCOS basically affects ovulation. My eggs would never mature enough to actually ovulate, instead they would fill with fluid and create small cysts. Every once in a while I would get a cycle but they were not consistent making it very difficult to plan the “window of conception.”  Which different Fertility Treatments that you have done/are doing? I have done 3 months of Femara with Timed Intercourse. 3 IUI’s with Clomid and recently completed one round of IVF.If applicable, did you proceed with a fresh or frozen transfer? Why? We did a frozen transfer due to genetic testing and an additional test called an ERA. This added an additional two months before we could transfer. Also, after our retrieval, I had mild Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) which caused my ovaries to become very enlarged and painful. It’s not recommended to do a fresh transfer under those conditions.

Did you decide to do the genetic testing (PGS)? What determined your decision?

We did do PGS testing. Being only 31, my RE did not think we absolutely needed to do PGS testing but wanted to offer it to us as an option. Mike and I went back and forth about it but ultimately decided to move forward with it. Our chances of success increased 20% if we used a PGS “normal” embryo so we focused on the success rate as our deciding factor. We ended up with 6 “normal” embryos which we were very happy about.

What have you found to be helpful to cope with the ups and downs of infertility? 

Having a support system. Infertility can be a very lonely and dark diagnosis. I happened to have a very close friend of mine going through IVF just before we did so I leaned a lot on her for support. I also found a great support group via Facebook with couples located in my area. My husband has been my biggest cheerleader as well and has been so positive through this journey. And of course, our families and close friends have been nothing short of amazing.

What has made you the most overwhelmed in this process?

All of the different factors that go into the overall process. Just when you think you are on track, a standard blood test could change your path due to a change in your hormone levels or your body not being ready for treatments. It’s not a quick process either which is difficult when you’ve already been trying for so long. The financial impact has been overwhelming too. My insurance unfortunately only covered portions of ultrasounds and blood work so the cost of all of these treatments was mostly out of pocket. We had some amazing financial support from friends and family which helped lessen the financial burden on us.

Did you decided to tell your friends and family about your treatments?

We involved our close friends and family from the start of our journey. And most recently, we shared our journey on social media. I’ve found it’s much easier having a strong support system through this process even if most of that support system doesn’t fully understand what infertility entails. We decided to share on social media to bring awareness to a condition that affects so many people and to also say to people “hey, stop asking us when we’re having kids.” :)

Have your relationships with others changed at all? 

I think they’ve grown stronger. It’s not easy to say “No, I’m not okay, I need help.” My friends and family saw how upset I would be after each failed treatment. Or how difficult it was to see pregnancy announcements. They really stood by me during my most vulnerable times and let me know it was okay to feel sad. 

If someone were to ask you for advice on how to support you through your journey, what would you tell them?

Research infertility. It makes it much easier to talk to someone if they have an idea of what you are going through even if they aren’t going through it themselves. Get to understand the different type of treatments, what it does to people emotionally and physically. Most of the time I just want to vent, not explain each treatment over and over again. Be sensitive to what you say to people dealing with infertility. I cannot say how upsetting it is to hear “just relax, it will happen” or “why don’t you just do this?” Also, understand that when people dealing with infertility hear or see pregnancy announcements it’s full of mixed emotion. We can be genuinely so happy for someone and sad for us at the same time. Being sensitive to these mixed emotions is very helpful.

As a woman, because it is our bodies that are being challenged, it sometimes feels like we are more involved in the process. What have you done to keep your significant other involved and help them feel included?

This is a tough one because even though men are the cause of almost 50% of infertility, women still are the ones receiving the treatments. I involved Mike in everything and made sure he felt included and knowledgeable of the process. He was at every appointment he could be. He talked to the doctor, asked questioned, and did his own research. Sometimes I think he had to be the positive force for both of us and I relied on him a lot to be that for me. Looking back, I wish I had stopped and asked him how he was feeling and coping more often than I did. I don’t think there’s enough support groups out there for men and that’s something that needs to change.

Anything else you would like to add/share. 

To those going through infertility, just know you are not alone. Find a support group. Don’t let infertility consume your life. Know that everyone dealing with infertility has their own path. Just because yours doesn’t work as quickly or with the same results as another, doesn’t mean your path won’t have a happy ending. The path to parenthood

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Thank you so much Brittany for sharing your story. I wish you nothing but the best and will be here to support you through your journey!!

Until next time... JR