We stuck to our decision on not moving forward with any treatments quite yet. We had only been trying for 6 months and had the green light that my one tube was open. I have very good insurance with my company but unfortunately, like most insurances out there, infertility coverage was not included. There are states out there that require companies to provide coverage for infertility, and the state of Illinois is one of them. Too bad my company's insurance plan is based out of Maryland, not a required state. We would have to save every penny, and put everything we had into the POTENTIAL of having a child. [don't you worry... there will be a post about my thoughts on this later...]. We weren't quite ready for that - financially or emotionally. My DH received some clomid to try and increase his count for a few months to see if that would help out at all. But we were back to the drawing board for now.
My DH was applying to jobs all over the local Chicago area, and in Indiana and Michigan too. An opportunity came up in Southern Indiana for him to apply to but, who wants to move from Chicago to Southern Indiana? On top of that, it's even further from my family and our friends... After some conversations, it was more important for him to get the experience than to land in our dream location right now. So on Day 228, off to Ferdinand, IN we went for his 5:30 a.m. interview the next morning.
Day 230 was a welcomed change. They loved him and offered him the job the day after the interview. I walked into my boss' office and told him I was turning in my 4 months notice. Ha! Our lease in Chicago was not up until the end of June so I knew without me having a guaranteed job down there, there was no way we could afford two rents on one income. I was going to stay in Chicago until I either found a job near him, or was able to convince my company to give me a full-time remote job.
That same weekend, we jumped back in the car to find a place to live. After some house and apartment hunting, we landed on our spot! If living in the country was good for anything, this new place was at least going to save us some money. We only had a few days to get everything squared away because 15 short days later, on Day 245, he was moving down.
The second thing that he told me, after telling me he got the job, was that this company had BCBS of ILLINOIS! Yes! That means that we would have infertility coverage! THANK YOU CORN FIELDS!
Day 248, his first day of work, brought on our next decision... to put me on his insurance right away or wait a bit. When it comes to adding spouses/dependents onto your insurance you have to either do it at the beginning of your job, during open enrollment or after a significant life change (you get married, have a kid, etc.). It was so hard for me to justify saying yes to adding me on right away.
...We were going to be living apart for 4 months and paying for the coverage, with having the two rents, was an extra expense I didn't want to have at the time.
...However, if he put me on his insurance, I could start the process of IVF in Chicago at the doctors office we saw before.
...But I would be doing it alone. Him living 5 hours south, in another timezone, and working nights... the logistics would just be tough for him to come back all the time for appointments.
...Back and forth, back and forth... so many pros and cons...
He was ready to pull the trigger and add me, but for me... I felt like I was failing by giving into the help. At this point, it was still extremely hard for me to accept the fact that I would need fertility assistance to have a child. I felt like I was failing at my job of a wife, woman, mother. By saying yes to going on the insurance, it was like accepting defeat and I wasn't quite ready to give up yet. Deep down, I knew we would have to get some assistance, but at that time, I didn't want to throw in the towel.
We decided to just focus on getting him settled in his new job and town, me figuring out what to do for a job, then getting me moved down there. With that decision, we would have to wait until open enrollment in November to add me to the coverage. That gave us a few months once I got down there to get completely settled and try a few months naturally before jumping into the treatment plans. Who know? Maybe a miracle would happen between now and then... chances were low, but I tried to stay as optimistic as I could in such a draining process.
After 115 days of living apart, on Day 358, I moved the rest of our stuff to finally be back with the mister - after a NIGHTMARE of a UHaul experience...makes my heart race just thinking about it!
My boss and I were able to propose a new job for me and the corporate office approved it for a temporary 6-month trial period. I was with the company for 3 months shy of 5 years at this point and it was an extremely hard decision to leave the site I was at but I was so excited they were able to create a new position for me to stay on with them. One less thing to stress about... at least until the temporary trial period was over haha!
I had a job, I was back with my husband and Sky (our cat) had plenty of windows to look out of! Everyone was happy. :) Now, we just needed to enjoy each others company again and this new life/lifestyle for a little bit before moving forward with any Fertility Treatments.
Until next time... JR
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